Merry December: Mickey Z. Gets in the Holiday Spirit
Press Action
Monday, December 13, 2004
http://www.pressaction.com/news/weblog/full_article/mickeyz12132004/
They’ve cut down all the beautiful trees and there they are on the streets of New York...lined up for sale. People who don’t give a damn about trees all year long will pay $50 for one now. Two weeks later, those same trees are back on the streets of New York...lined up for the garbage man with only 360 shopping days to go…
Mickey Z.’s holiday shopping tip:
If you’re looking for something really special this year, I’ve found a place where you can purchase expensive goods handmade by the children of Latin America and Southeast Asia.
Maybe you’ve heard of it…
It’s called Niketown.
Charles Bukowski (Xmas, 1963):
“I spent Xmas in bed asleep. I hate to go out on the streets on Xmas day. The fuckers act like they are out of their minds. They strain at the thing; round-eyed and hacked-out they drive through red lights, they look at each other and say things but they don’t know what they’re saying; their mouths have long ago been cut out and thrown away. Christmas, to most of them, is like owning a new car. They’ve got to do it. They don’t have the guts—or the sense—to pass it up.”
Theological Xmas Question:
If god is all-knowing and all-wise, why would he, in the name of saving humanity, send his only son to die in a small town in the Middle East...2000 friggin’ years ago? If he really wanted to make an impact, why not wait until, say, now...and plant the little guy in the middle of Times Square with a laptop and a high speed connection?
“I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.”
-Dick Gregory
Here’s a conundrum for those who believe in both Christianity and UFOs: If there is life on other planets, did god send Jesus to those planets, too? Or does he have other kids he’s willing to sacrifice? Anyone? Bueller?
All this talk about Jesus has me ready to hatch a scheme based on his intermittent appearances and manifestations.
You know the drill: Suburban housewife claims to see the Jesus in her toaster oven. Pilgrims line up around the block, traffic snarls, and the local news can’t get enough.
Strange that with children being blown to bits in Iraq, the son of god chooses a kitchen appliance in East Islip to show his face. Guess that’s one of the “mysterious ways” I’m always hearing about…
Well, all this got me thinking: What if I claimed I saw Jesus in my computer? If I were serious enough and persistent enough, the media would put my picture in all the papers. I’d be interviewed on all the TV shows, and I might finally write a book that would sell.
If I could keep up the hoax long enough, I’d tell the world that Jesus is now talking through me and that’s when I spread my own message (insert maniacal laughter here). I’d get my social views out and the politicians would be forced to listen because I’d have all the holy rollers thinking I’m the real deal.
No one has the balls to contradict a prophet, do they?
Charles Bukowski (Xmas, 1963):
“Christmas night and they’ve battered their heads together until they are silly and they’ve smiled themselves silly and vomited on the floor, 98% of them amateur drinkers, amateur Christians, amateur human beings.”
Need help deciding where to shop? Try: http://www.responsibleshopper.org/
Mickey Z., who spent 12 years in Catholic school, is the author of four books, most recently: “The Seven Deadly Spins: Exposing the Lies Behind War Propaganda” (Common Courage Press). He can be found on the Web at www.mickeyz.net.