Former President Hopes to Draw Americans to Iraq
Press Action
Thursday, April 08, 2004
http://www.pressaction.com/news/weblog/full_article/holmquist04082004/
By Micah Holmquist
George H.W. Bush thought his days of facing daunting challenges were over when his presidential reelection bid came up short in 1992. “When I lost to [Bill] Clinton,” the 41st President of the United States of America told Press Action at his home Kennebunkport, Maine, “I figured my days as a public servant were over.”
And yet it is now that Bush, a man who will turn 80 on June 12, faces what many say is his greatest challenge yet, developing the tourism industry in Iraq to serve the needs of American visitors. Some say it can’t be done, but Bush once managed to go from a 90% approval rating to receiving less than 38% percent of the popular vote in a span of less than two years. He knows how to do the impossible. Bush’s eyes are now filled with the determination to do it just one more time.
Coalition Provisional Authority Administrator L. Paul Bremer has no doubt that Bush is the right man for this job. “When you look at who has done the most over the years to raise the profile of Iraq, you have to put President George H.W. Bush at the top of the list,” Bremer said at the press conference naming Bush as the head of the newly formed Iraqi Tourism Council. “If it weren’t for his leadership, most Americans wouldn’t even know there was a country called Iraq and that for years it had been run by a terrible dictator who threatened the life of every man, woman and child in not only America but even much of the rest of the world.”
Bremer declined to be interviewed for this piece, citing a busy schedule, but did issue a written statement featuring various ways of saying, “President Bush is the right man for this very important job.”
Former Secretary of State James A. Baker, III expressed similar sentiments when, during Press Action‘s interview with Bush, he stopped by for the weekly game of darts that the two play. This week former Secretary of State General Alexander Haig’s face was on the board. “I know that President Bush will do a great job,” Baker said.
Tourism in Iraq may or may not have been big business in the past, but it is bigger now than ever. Over 130,000 U.S. troops are currently in Iraq, according to U.S. Central Command. Thousands more come from other countries. Exact figures are hard to come by. These troops are undoubtedly spending some money in Iraq and their presence has resulted in many, nobody knows for sure how many, civilian deaths. While some economists might say these premature deaths have a negative impact on the economy by reducing the pool of workers and entrepreneurs, Bush says these deaths just means there is more money per capita for those who remain. “I had a long conversation with one of my sons about this very matter,” he said. “My son said that for every civilian Iraqi death, the economy of Iraq increases by a total roughly equal to $(100 - (age of dead Iraqi)).”
While some wonder what the attraction of Iraq could possibly be, Bush sees a whole range of things in Iraq that will draw a diverse group of travelers.
“Just look at people of faith,” the former vice president said. “Conservative Christians were amongst the biggest supporters of invading Iraq and now many of them have come to Iraq to spread The Good News and operate America’s Arabic language satellite television station. That’s great, but what about Muslims? They like to destroy historic statues. Iraq has seen a destroyed statue or two and has an ancient city, Ashur, that’s endangered. I don’t see why they couldn’t have a ball in Iraq.”
Bush is so bullish on Iraq that he even sees an upside to the recent violence in Iraq. “The situation may not look good, but what a lot of these critics don’t understand is that this sort of thing is good for certain industries, industries that people want to work in. I can’t see how this won’t result in increased demand for Soldier of Fortune types to come and join those civilians who are already there helping the Americans fight against those who hate freedom. Additionally, what self-respecting anarchist wouldn’t want to take part in this chaos?”
He even holds out hope of attracting some disreputable elements to Iraq. “Lot’s of violence against women goes on all over the world, but in some places, like America, it is frowned upon or at least not something to be brought in mixed company. Not so in Iraq, where it has been, more or less, on the rise since Saddam fell.”
Speaking in a fast pace never before seen in Bush’s public life, he continued, “there’s something for everyone in Iraq. If the ‘intellectuals’ in Iraq are the same kind who criticize my son, it isn’t just Pol Potists who would be happy to spend time in a country where ‘intellectuals’ are being forced to flee. I think that kind of place sounds great!”
Despite Bush’s enthusiasm, there are still plenty of problems in Iraq. For instance, the country lacks the infrastructure necessary to take care of tourists. Bush told Press Action that when he visited Iraq two weeks ago he was surprised to find that his beloved pork rinds were not widely available. “I went from store to store. Even those with those scanner things didn’t have them. Now what kind of country is that?” Bush asked rhetorically in an expression of his frustration at how unaccommodating the Iraqis are.
The former head of the Central Intelligence Agency nonetheless remains optimistic. “Boosting tourism will help the Iraqi people just as tourism has done for other poor countries. More importantly when Americans see Iraq they will want to visit more countries that the U.S. invades and occupies, and that will help build support for such actions. We just need to let Americans see what it is all about.” Bush said as he got ready for lobster season. “Already we are working with the Afghan Tourism Council to set up joint rates. My dream is to have a subscription package where people get one visit to every country that the U.S. invades and takes over.”
Heading back to his compound, the man who finished destroying the Soviet Union looked out to the ocean and said, “Here’s a slogan with a nice ring to it — ‘Iraq, where women are beaten and intellectuals die.’”
Micah Holmquist, editor of Irregular Thoughts and Links, is a Cadillac, Mich.-based writer.