Saturday, April 17, 2004

Journalism 101

By Mickey Z.

I took a look at the writing gigs at Craig’s List today and came across the ad below (all typos are theirs, not mine).

Looking for perverted, inteligent, young, hip, funny writers

Welcome to the Burning Angel Writer’s Guild

In case you didn’t know, a brand new version of BurningAngel.com coming your way. In the midst of putting this far superior site together we realized that we needed an army of irreverent, cynical, informed youth to power the turbines of indie editorials.

Imagine the news rooms of Vice magazine, Blender, or The Onion where people with attitude have a healthy disregard for authority and the main stream media.

If you’re smart, perverted, witty, and willing we want you. If you’re capable of offensive, inflamatory criticism (opposed to whiny, emo, bullshit) ... we need you.

WE DON’T WANT YOU if you’re overly-serious, jaded, seem over forty, or out of the loop. Start your own pathetic blog that nobody will read!

Not to put too fine a point on it consider the following examples:

THINGS WE WANT:

1. An article about how you find your dogs constant ball-licking to be strangely appealing

2. An album review claiming that the new Christina Augilera album is a secret doctrine for Scientologists.

3. A story about your busted sexual escapades in the changing room of your local Wal Mart (we don’t care if it’s true, we care if it’s funny).

THINGS WE DON’T WANT:

1. An article railing about your hatred for electroclash, or how the hardcore scene is not what it used to be.

2. ANTYHING about being straight-edge, vegan, or why Ralph Nader still rules

3. Any articles about cheating on your wife with your secretary or having trouble meeting men at 40.

If you feel like your up to the challenge then submit your writing samples to Joanna at asap and we’ll carve you out some space and a topic.

We have assembled a list of available categories below for your to pick from

Please pick a first, second, and third choice as spots tend to fill up quickly!

TOPICS:
A Sex Op/Ed
1. Humorous Anecdotes
2. Obcene Dating Situations
3. Silly Relationship Testimonials

B. Music
1. Scene Reports (By City)

E. Fashion
1. Dos and Dont’s
2. Scene Fashion Updates

H. Other Reviews
1. Technology Reviews

3. Video Game Reviews
4. Movie/Film Reviews
a. porno
b. indie/b-movies
c. Hollywood

NO QUESTIONS, NO COMMENTS, JUST WRITING!

You are free to send in material that has been published elsewhere, and I am more than happy to give credit to whereever it came from.

Send ALL submissions to

The compensation for this is negotiable. It all depends on how good you really are.

Thanks,
http://www.BurningAngel.com

As Bukowski said: “Almost everybody is born a genius and buried an idiot.”

Mickey Z. is the author of two upcoming books: “A Gigantic Mistake: Articles and Essays for Your Intellectual Self Defense” (Prime Books) and “Seven Deadly Spins: Exposing the Lies Behind War Propaganda” (Common Courage Press).

More from Mickey Z.

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