Press Action

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Quack Journalism

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Posted 07/27 |

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The raving loonies seem to be at it again. No surprise; nothing brings them out of their shells like “animal rights.”

I might conceivably take the arguments (???) presented in this article seriously if I were to see a horde of animal rights activists heading out for Alaska with the intent of stopping wolf-packs from tearing caribou to pieces, arctic foxes doing likewise to ptarmigan, polar bears ditto to seals, orcas to grey whales--and, of course, grizzlies to any other beast that crosses their path. Failing that (and how would the wolves, foxes, polar bears, orcas and grizzlies feel about the violation of THEIR rights, I wonder?), the animal rights loudmouths must be consigned to the class of misanthropic idiots who want nothing more than for the human race to repent of its presumptive sins by crucifying itself, especially by forswearing medical progress.

Posted by Fossil from on 07/27 at 09:51 PM

Fossil, I suggest you volunteer for these important live-saving animal experiments?

As Derrick Jensen says, “I’m not unalterably opposed to vivisection. In fact, I’d wholeheartedly support it were vivisectors to make one minor administrative change. It would be that scientists perform the experiments not on nonhumans but on themselves and their colleagues.

“Scientists keep telling us how beneficial the experiments are for science with a capital ‘s’, progress with a capital ‘p’ and, of course, man with a capital ‘m’. If the experiments really are necessary with a capital ‘n’, the scientists should be willing to make this sacrifice (with a small ‘s’) for the greater good. In any case, according to no other than Lord Sainsbury, minister for innovation and science, advocate of genetic engineering and owner of a large supermarket chain, strict regulations ensure that experiments generally cause no more than ‘moderate’ suffering. If this is actually true, scientists shouldn’t object too much to throwing their hats into this ring.

“Make vivisection duty mandatory for every human who supports animal testing. We are, after all, animals. It will be just like jury duty. You get a note from the local authorities advising you that your turn has come, and you are to report next Tuesday. You call the evening before to see if the experiment has been cancelled. It hasn’t, but you learn they only want males.”

Posted by nutbob from on 07/28 at 12:12 PM

OK, aptly-named nutbob. I’m just waiting for you to board that plane to Alaska where you’ll be interposing yourself between hungry polar bears and seals. Let me know how that works out.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep to my previous position, which is based to a large extent on the fact that my daughter was cured of a once-fatal disease thanks to a couple of decades of research involving, no doubt, the deaths of thousands of lab animals. I would cheerfully have broken the arms of anyone who tried to interfere with that research on the inane grounds posited by the animal rights movement. By extension, I will cheerfully break the arms of anyone interfering with current medical research, especially the trash whose idea of virtuous political action is to harass and threaten medical researchers and their families at their homes.

Posted by Fossil from on 07/28 at 01:02 PM